Replacing a Fence Without Upsetting Your Neighbour

A shared fence is one of the few things you own jointly with someone you did not choose. Replacing one goes smoothly or badly almost entirely on the strength of one conversation, and that conversation needs to happen before anyone gets a quote, not after.

The short answer: raise it early, in person if you can, with a proposal rather than a decision. Most fence disputes we see did not start over money. They started because one neighbour found out about the job from the sound of a post hole being dug.

Talk to them before you get quotes

It is tempting to line up three quotes first so you have something concrete to show. In practice that reads as a done deal they are being asked to pay half of. If they had an opinion about the height, the style, or when the work happens, it is now inconvenient.

A better opening is short and genuinely open: the fence is near the end of its life, here is why you think so, you are thinking about replacing it, and would they like to be involved in choosing. That one question changes the whole tone, because it makes them a decision-maker rather than an invoice recipient.

If you are not sure whether the fence is actually due, our guide on when to replace a fence covers the signs that matter, which is useful to have in hand so the conversation is about the fence rather than about taste.

What to agree before anyone starts

Settle these points together. Each of them is a dispute waiting to happen if it is assumed rather than discussed.

Who is paying for what

The cost of a dividing fence is commonly shared, but the detail matters: a basic fence that does the job is a different proposition from a premium upgrade one party wants. Agreeing in principle before the quotes arrive avoids an awkward renegotiation. Our guide on who pays for a dividing fence in NSW sets out how this generally works and where to get the official position.

Style, height and materials

Both sides look at this fence every day, and only one side of a paling fence shows the rails. Decide together which way it faces, what material it is, and what height you are both happy with. Height in particular can be subject to council controls, especially on a front boundary or in a conservation area, so check with your own council rather than assuming.

If one party wants something more expensive than the other, a workable compromise is that the basic specification is shared and the upgrade is paid for by whoever wants it. That is a conversation, not a rule, but it resolves a lot of standoffs.

Timing

Your neighbour may work from home, have a newborn, be about to host something, or have a dog that cannot be left in an open yard. Agreeing a week that suits both households costs nothing and prevents most of the friction. It also helps to know how long a fence replacement actually takes so you are not promising a day when it is realistically three.

Put the agreement in writing, even informally

Memory is a poor record, and neighbours move. Once you have agreed, confirm it in a short message or email: the fence, the height, the material, the contractor, the approximate cost, the split, and the week. Nobody needs to sign anything for that to be useful.

NSW also has a formal process for shared fencing, including a written fencing notice, and the official position on what that involves and when it applies is held by NSW Fair Trading and LawAccess NSW. If the arrangement is friendly and straightforward you may never need it. If there is any hesitation on either side, using the formal process is the sensible move rather than the aggressive one. We are fencing contractors, not legal advisers, so take the process itself from them.

Access to their side

Almost every fence replacement needs some access to the neighbour's side, for removing the old fence, setting posts and fixing rails. Raise it explicitly, with the date, and ask whether anyone needs to be home. Also check what is in the way: a garden bed, a pot collection, a bike, a trampoline against the fence line. That is part of why a shared boundary is worth treating as its own type of job - see boundary fencing in Sydney.

Ask your contractor to speak to you rather than negotiating access on the spot with a neighbour who was not expecting them. On our jobs we work to the access that has already been agreed, and we come back to the owner if something unexpected is in the way.

Pets, kids and an open boundary

For part of the job there is no fence. That is the single most practical thing to plan for, and it is usually the thing nobody raises. Options worth discussing:

• Keeping dogs inside or in another part of the yard during working hours, on both sides.

• Temporary fencing or mesh across the open section, particularly with a dog that bolts or a toddler.

• Staging the work so the full length is not open at once, which is often possible on a longer boundary.

• Agreeing who is responsible for which animals, in plain words, so there is no ambiguity.

• Pool fencing is a separate matter entirely and is never something to leave open or improvise around. Treat that as its own job and check the rules with your council and the NSW Swimming Pool Register.

Gardens, sheds and things attached to the fence

Established plants trained along a fence, a shed built hard against it, screws and brackets, trellis, lighting and shade sails all complicate a replacement. Some of it will not survive, and the honest version of that conversation is far better had beforehand.

Walk the line together, from both sides, and agree what gets cut back, what gets removed and reinstated, and what is accepted as collateral. Then make sure the contractor is told the same thing you both agreed.

If your neighbour says no, or will not engage

Sometimes the answer is no, or there is no answer at all. A few things genuinely help before anyone escalates:

• Ask what their objection actually is. Cost, timing and style are all solvable, and they are often what is really meant by no.

• Offer to let them get a quote of their own, or choose from quotes you have both seen. Control over the choice resolves more disputes than a lower price does.

• Put it in writing if conversations have not worked, calmly and factually.

• Accept a delay if the obstacle is temporary, such as a job loss or an illness. A fence can usually wait a few months.

If it is genuinely stuck, NSW Fair Trading, LawAccess NSW, Community Justice Centres and the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal are the places to go for the formal process and for free mediation. Go there for the position rather than to a blog, including ours.

One thing worth knowing: you can usually replace a fence at your own cost if you want it done and they do not want to contribute, subject to the official rules on shared boundaries. That is often the quickest path to a good fence and an intact relationship.

If it is a rental, or a strata property

If the property next door is tenanted, the tenant is not the decision-maker. You need the owner or the managing agent, and that takes longer, so start earlier. If either property is strata, the owners corporation generally deals with common property boundaries, and the strata manager is the right first call.

Frequently asked questions

Do I have to tell my neighbour before replacing a shared fence?

For a dividing fence, yes, and NSW has a formal notice process for exactly this. Beyond the legal position it is simply the thing that makes the job go well. Check the current requirements with NSW Fair Trading.

What if my neighbour will not pay their share?

Find out why first, since cost and timing are often negotiable. If it does not resolve, the official process through NSW Fair Trading and, if needed, the Tribunal is there. You can also choose to proceed at your own cost.

Who chooses the fence if we disagree?

Ideally both of you, by agreement. Where there is no agreement, the formal process exists to resolve it, and it tends to favour a reasonable fence that does the job rather than either party's preferred upgrade.

Does the good side of the fence go to them or to us?

There is no universal rule, and it is a matter for agreement. Options include alternating the facing along the boundary, choosing a style that looks the same from both sides, or one party paying a little more for the facing they prefer.

Can my neighbour stop the work once it has started?

If access or the agreement breaks down mid-job the work can certainly stall, which is why the agreement and the access arrangement are worth getting right beforehand. If a dispute arises once work has begun, pause and go to the official process rather than pressing on.

Getting it done without the drama

A fence replacement that both households agreed on, at a time that suited both, with access sorted in advance, is a quiet two or three days and a boundary nobody thinks about again for twenty years. Our fence replacement service and the wider range of fencing we build across Sydney are both set out on the site, and if you want something you can show your neighbour, get in touch for an itemised quote. It also helps to know what a fencing quote should include before you hand one over.